Bar Games
My girlfriend, Sarah, beat me at pool. This is a picture of her showing off what I call her “Zelda ear”:
We were sitting outside at a bar in Athens, called the Max Canada, and it started raining. I don’t like sitting inside bars. Usually, either it’s too loud because of people shouting at each other or too loud because the bartender is blaring their favorite awful music. The back of the Max Canada, where the games are, is relatively quiet. Back here your options are: the Softcore Porn Match game, Ms. Pac-Man and Galaga (a dollar per play), Frogger and Tapper (25 cents), CarnEvil (25 cents per life), Guns ‘n’ Roses pinball, darts, and pool. I wanted to play Ms. Pac-Man, but I wasn’t going to shell out a dollar for it.
I’m not good at pool. Either I hit the cue ball too hard or I whiff it trying to be subtle. When I try to figure out the geometry of a complex bank shot, I end up missing by a mile. Sarah isn’t good at pool either. I generally had better aim then she did, but I scratched almost every time I got a pocket. She ended up beating me with one ball left on the table, with a beautiful 45-degree trick shot that I didn’t think she’d be able to pull off. After she sank the eight ball, I said: “That’s the first and last time you’ll ever beat me at a game.” I’m a sore loser.
Relishing her victory, Sarah commanded me to tell everybody on Twitter that she beat me. Sarah detests blogging. She has a two-year old Twitter account with 10 updates on it, a Tumblr she only uses for school projects, and absolutely no patience for my stories about arguing with L.B. Jeffries or the eviscerating women of the Iris Network. I told her I’d one-up her demand, dedicating an entire blog post to her. The inspiration for this was Krystian Majewski’s post on what he called “Girlfriend Games.” I don’t quite know if this is the wording I want to use for my post, because I don’t really see Sarah so much as “my girlfriend, who sometimes plays games” but rather “someone who I’m in love with, who is interested in games in theory but hates them in practice.” This post isn’t just about the games I’ve played with her, but also a short discussion of her experience taking a game design class this past semester (which, despite my goading, she refuses to write about).
My videogame addiction has always been a major obstacle to my relationships with both friends and girlfriends. In the case of friends, I can usually surround myself with a healthy mix of gamers and non-gamers; however, I’ve never dated a gamer before. Past girlfriends have treated my love of games with an undue level of acid. Compare these two statements:
Ivy: “I would never stay with you for a long time if you kept smoking.”
Caroline: “I’ll dump you if you start playing World of Warcraft.”
Of course, these were two very different women talking about two very different bad habits of mine. But their treatments of the two roughly equate—both smoking, which might eventually kill me, and gaming, which I would eventually go on to study for a living, were deal-breakers. In both cases I treated the ultimata as challenges. I kept smoking while dating Ivy, washing myself and rinsing with Listerine constantly to hide the smell from her. And I started playing World of Warcraft toward the end of my relationship with Caroline, waiting until she fell asleep each night to sneak out of bed and spend six hours in Azeroth (apparently this a fairly common phenomenon). A number of similar experiences eventually led me to the conclusion, early in the summer of last year, that I needed to date a gamer if I wanted to be happy.
It was a bad summer. Female gamers are uncommon even on the Internet, let alone in a liberal arts university town such as Athens, Georgia (this is the South, mind you). Even once you find a female who shares your passion for gaming, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be compatible in any other way (when you’re an ultra-leftist, atheist-determinist Jew with degrees in philosophy and film studies). Finally, there’s the fact that most eligible gamer girls already have boyfriends who are a lot cooler than I. My ridiculous determination to date a gamer led me through two horribly unsuccessful courtships.
I tried writing about these for a few days, but couldn’t come up with anything that didn’t sound completely stupid or offensive. If you want to talk about these hilarious misadventures with me, you’ll have to come to Atlanta, get me drunk, and play videogames with me. One was a girl who could play the main theme of Bubble Bobble on a Casio… from memory. The other girl manipulates boys on World of Warcraft by sex chatting four of them simultaneously (on different channels) during raids… I’m still really good friends with the Casio-toter.
The circumstances leading up to my dating Sarah are, again, not-safe-for-blog. She’s not a gamer—I learned my lesson. What she is is tolerant, and she also happens to know as much about film as I do (and quite a bit more about music). Sarah is the first person I’ve dated who never once told me that I was spending too much time playing games, who asked me not to play them around her, who questioned my desire to study them in graduate school. But she also never once volunteered to play them with me (and I was fine with that), which led me to be rather surprised and confused when she told me that she’d be taking a game design class last semester.
She never really explained why she decided to take the class—whether it was to understand what it was I was doing all day, to expand her media repertoire, to decide whether she thought games were a legitimate art form, to help decide on a possible career path—and really, I don’t mind not understanding. Apparently there were multiple students in the class who admitted to not playing games or enjoying them much. That’s a strange phenomenon for me to relate to: I like film and games more than books and music, so my course of study seems obvious to me. The idea of denying myself what I actually enjoy experiencing in order to expand my general knowledge of the world is strange to me, because I’m a somewhat firm believer in specialization and expertise—we have the Internet (and libraries) for general knowledge and record-keeping.
When Sarah told me she’d be taking the game design class, I got unduly excited. I bought the textbooks she’d be reading, started stalking her future professor (Casey O’Donnell, who I’m rather decent friends with now), and demanded that she submit to an insane regimen of games history lessons at my despotic hands. This didn’t go so well. I had just received Namco’s latest “virtual arcade” disc, and one night we (I) decided to sit down and spend an hour on each game—passing the controller back and forth with each death. I couldn’t get her to focus on any of the games (Galaga, Xevious, Dig Dug, Pole Position) except for Ms. Pac-Man (and that’s not even a Namco game, strictly speaking—see Crazy Otto).
On all the other games, she tried passing every time it was her turn. With Ms. Pac-Man, she wouldn’t let me have the controller! She cursed when a ghost caught up to her, she cursed when the fruit ran away from her, she cursed when she couldn’t nab all four ghosts after ingesting a power-up. Eventually we put the virtual arcade away. I asked Sarah about this months later. She told me that she didn’t like the way Ms. Pac-Man made her feel: she looked coin-drop straight in the eye, denying it access to her heart and mind.
Through the course of the semester we played a decent smattering of other games together. First she wanted to try Geometry Wars, because she loved the psychedelia of the thing; however, she got really angry at me when I started playing Space Giraffe in her apartment—she hated the pretentious sound effects and overbearing visualizations. Lacking any platforming experience, she didn’t have the patience for Braid. She wanted to write about Passage for her first paper, and I suggested that she compare it to The Graveyard. Her second paper was a cross-analysis of The Marriage and Facade. By far our favorite game to play together has been Castle Crashers (though she refuses to admit that Dan Paladin is the cutest thing in existence). We indie music and film snobs make good indie game snobs, as if that were a surprise to anyone. When Jason Rohrer came to visit Georgia Tech, she got permission from her professors to skip class and come listen. I can only imagine how those conversations went: “You want to go to a lecture by who? He makes what?”
Unfortunately, Sarah won’t let me read her papers or post them here. Maybe if we all write expressive pleas in the comments section she’ll oblige us with some choice bits of non-gamer analysis and wisdom. Here’s one reason why I think she’s not comfortable with my reading them (and let this be a lesson to you all): some dickbag in her class berated her, asking why she, a girl, was trying to learn game design. Apparently the other girl who had registered for the class dropped out early on in the semester. Sarah didn’t want to tell her professor about this semi-harassment, so (of course) I did. This is reminiscent of a recent post by Tracey John, musing about the fact that male gamers crave female gaming partners but often resort to creepery or verbal abuse when interacting with them in-game. Any similar experiences from my (probably non-existent) female readers would be much appreciated!
This post started out as kind of a dare from Sarah to admit that I’d lost at pool, and it’s actually been a great exercise in recounting our relationship thus far and reminding myself why I like her so much.
Wait, who do we know that can play the Bubble Bobble theme?
Max
May 21, 2009 at 7:20 am
A. Weiss, dummie! I put in a link just now though
Simon Ferrari
May 21, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Come on Sarah! I’d be interested to hear her thoughts on games.
It’s a shame about that guy in her class and that Tracey John post. That kind of ignorance and/or creepiness probably keeps a lot of non-gamers out. I know that I don’t like to play games like Halo 3 online unless it’s with friends because I’ve encountered too many dudes who think it’s ok to make homophobic/racist/misogynist comments.
Games should be fun, inviting and inclusive. It’s hard to fight the stereotype that games are just for teenage boys when many gamers try to perpetuate that stereotype.
Stephen
May 21, 2009 at 10:49 am
The horrid thing about XBL for me is that, if you try to censure some kid for acting inappropriately, they can just file a complaint against you for harassment and then you yourself can be censured officially by M$ even though you were trying to improve the community.
Let’s just say that I’m not particularly impressed by anyone with the title “Community Manager” at *most* game-industry corporations (from the sounds of it, Brinstar gets it right at GW). What exactly do you major in to become an ineffectual forum manager and e-report skimmer?
Simon Ferrari
May 21, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I’d especially be interested in her essays because they’re written by someone taking a game design course (something I’ve never done) who comes at the process from outside the gaming “sphere” as I experience it. Game design is something I write about from an outsider’s perspective every day, I just pretend I know about it because I love and play games. It would be really interesting to see what someone who is an an “outsider” to *gaming* would make of the process of designing games.
This is the kind of thing that often strikes me: it’s not just that there are certain things that people who aren’t terribly into games see that I don’t see, it’s that they *really* see things I see and forget, or take in stride. Like when my girlfriend couldn’t stop laughing that a guy calls himself “snakefist” in Fear 2. I kept on saying it was supposed to be ironic, he was a dorky tech guy (although really annoyingly written, to be honest), but as she and my brother pointed out, who cares? Snakefist!
Of course, since I’ve never taken a game design course, I’m sure that I’d approach her or any person’s essays on the topic from a position of extreme ignorance. If only I’d spent more time building bad NWN modules!
Tom
May 21, 2009 at 12:07 pm
You’d be able to understand the papers, I’m sure
Most of an academic game design course is a written analysis of a game that doesn’t exist yet–the design doc. All that programming stuff usually only goes on at the middle and end of the semester (unless you go to a trade school, which I can’t comment on).
Simon Ferrari
May 21, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Man. I see your experience with women and MMOs rivals mine. When I started dating my current girlfriend, Kristen, she had tracked me down through a series of obtuse messages I was leaving around craigslist. I had left a trail of ads in help wanted, personals, stuff for sale, and a couple other places and she messaged me saying she had to meet me for some pizza and beer. Until I met her, my past experience with women included a crack addict who’s gaming addiction was so severe she decided it was a game to ruin me.
I can understand not wanting to show papers around. Coursework and work for academia are very very different. Coursework is often done without definite focus and is usually not as rigorous as we would like. I don’t know that i’d want to see her coursework so much as I would love to see something she works up indepdently for a conference paper.
Coincidentally, come to the Southwester Sociological Assocation’s thing in Galveston and present at the Tech, Internet, and Society gathering. We can all have tons of fun!
Nick LaLone
May 22, 2009 at 9:56 am
Is anything in that first paragraph true? If so, we have to meet for some pizza and beer. Or is that kinda stuff par for the course in The Land Where Everything Is Bigger?
Simon Ferrari
May 22, 2009 at 1:19 pm
It is indeed true. Also, I am intensely awesome but that might not be as true as the rest of my statements. Kristen is an interesting girl in that she’s mostly open to my gaming habits and even joins me on occasion (we’re playing WoW together).
Carla, the girl with the crack addiction, was a straight A student at UT in biblical archaeology while on her drug habit. She was one of the craziest people i’ve ever met and you’d never know just looking at her. I know I didn’t when I hired her while managing a blockbuster video. She love video games, drugs, wolverine, comic books, and the bible. I don’t think I could ever adequately describe our relationship.
And yeah, Austin is an amazing place filled with amazing people. The rest of the Land Where Everything is Bigger doesn’t like us too much.
Nick LaLone
May 22, 2009 at 1:40 pm
My girlfriend and I re-read this whole thing giggling the whole time. When is this Galveston thing and when is the due date for submissions? I think my paper on totalitarianism and TWEWY might could be edited to fit the subject.
Simon Ferrari
May 22, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Ah, I made a liar out of me. There’s a demography gathering in galveston, the southwestern sociological association was in april in Denver, and applied and clinical sociology is in san antonio in a couple months. Next April, the Southwestern Sociological Association will have another gathering. In a few months, they’ll say where their next meeting is. I think i’m going to submit a paper then. I’ll probably work up the video game women paper.
NIck LaLone
May 23, 2009 at 8:04 am
Ha, the last time I tried to get a girl to play a game with me was Rez HD on travel mode. I think it ended up being a deal breaker, it was our third date and it tapered off after that.
Sorry to hear someone berated her in the class, it’s a shame real life doesn’t have a mute button on it. I enjoy XBL but if I don’t know who the person is, I mute them the moment they make a sound. Girl or guy, young or old, I could care less what a total stranger has to say during a round of Halo 3.
Hell, I wasn’t even aware it was that awful of a culture until I stopped my muting policy to actually see what people were saying.
L.B. Jeffries
May 24, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Been there on the Rez HD with a girl thing
I tried getting three of my friends to do the trance controller at the same time. Ahhhh, margaritas.
Yeah, I only started muting people recently. You get pockets of time where people actually use cooperative teamspeak, etc. (There’s always a guy with a Midwestern accent who wants everyone to work together, have you noticed that?) But most of the time it’s people rapping, calling each other racial epithets, and screaming with music in the background.
Simon Ferrari
May 24, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Hm, I started using the Headset only recently (partly because of Simon). Sometimes I really enjoy listening to those flame-fights. They can be unintentionally hilarious. But I see how they can get on your nerves sometimes.
But other times, you get those really weird conversations like a (drunk?) 40+ giving a High School student advice on what kind of education to get and what kind of women to go out with.
But that was Call of Duty. Maybe there is a slight difference between the CoD4 and Halo3 audience.
Krystian Majewski
May 26, 2009 at 1:59 pm
There is, CoD4 requires a slightly higher level of organization to play competently (as you probably know, following your Tweet about the learning curve online). Arcade shooters like Halo 3 encourage dumb kids to jump around like Rambo and say stupid shit.
Simon Ferrari
May 26, 2009 at 4:13 pm
It sounds like you are a really lucky guy
Sarah, please let him post your work! Please!!! Pretty please!!!
GunBlade
May 25, 2009 at 9:02 am
I do consider myself lucky, and thanks for the encouragement man! I think that’s like 7 requests for the paper now, so maybe she’ll let me take a peek at them!
Simon Ferrari
May 26, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Great Post! (And thanks for cross-linking again) Fascinating history you got there. I enjoy reading those stories a lot. Actually, I got a lot of feedback on that post I wrote. It seems to be an important topic for a lot of gamers out there.
I had to giggle at the playing why she is sleeping thing. Defiantly a scenario I’m familiar with. I don’t have to hide it but if I wake her up, she gets furious.
I think it’s really cool that Sarah is taking a Game Design class. She shouldn’t get discouraged by resistance. Games really need that fresh perspective. If there is resistance, it means that she might have hit a sensitive spot. I’d love to read her papers!
Krystian Majewski
May 26, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Oh yeah sneaking out of bed to game is still a common hobby of mine, it just isn’t secret anymore
A big part of her getting treated shittily in that class is that it’s a public university in the South. Sub-literate telecom majors aren’t known for their tact. I wouldn’t be surprised if this were a common phenomenon though, I know two of the three girls in my last design class dropped out mid-semester without telling anybody why.
Simon Ferrari
May 26, 2009 at 4:11 pm